Fifty Shades Darker

When people think of 50 Shades of Grey they think of sex, whips, chains, and Christian Grey. Let me start off by saying, 50 Shades of Grey is all of these things; however, 50 Shades Darker, expectedly, takes a darker turn (pun 100% intended). By darker, I do not mean that the sex and domination got more intense. Actually, quite the opposite.

Finally, the story develops and we actually have a reason to continue watching and even more importantly, a decent excuse to tell our friends when they ask why the hell we went to see this movie. But let’s be honest, are we really going to see this movie for the plotline? No. Is the plotline an aid to what we’re already seeing? Yes. 50 Shades Darker was more, in simple terms, boring in comparison to its predecessor.

For starters, the last movie ended with a dramatic breakup, only to be picked back up in the 50 Shades Darker as a still-broken, but by no means over, relationship. It took all of 10 minutes for the pair to reunite which, referring to the ending of the first movie, is by far and away not the amount of time it would have taken to mend what was made to look like heartbreak. Additionally, Anastasia makes it clear that the kinky things Christian is used to, will not be accepted if they are together to which he responds that she is more important to him than beating her sexually*entire audience groans in disappointment*. Thus, we have 50 Shades Darker. A tale of two people who really like to do it but also are in love. Sounds like most relationships I’ve ever heard of. Minus the fact that most men don’t have a creepy stalker that used to be their sex slave, a 50+ aged woman that taught them how to have sex, millions and millions of dollars, a dead crack-addicted mother, and a helicopter that will inevitably crash. But hey, they’re a normal couple right?

Let’s just say that this movie, while more intimate in the love aspect, is almost too far off the beaten path. Being a sadomasochistic millionaire is probably enough to make a compelling movie so I’m not sure that the 132 separate issues were quite necessary, at least not all in the same movie. I mean I genuinely thought the movie was going to end on a cliff-hanger at least 5 times in the hour and a half that it played; and it definitely did, but it had nothing to do with any of the things I even mentioned before. I can barely keep track.

Now if I start critiquing the acting, we’d be here for a while, but I’ll end by saying, Dakota Johnson gave a wonderful performance, and her counterpart, Jamie Dornan had a bit of a harder time. I want so badly for him to do well in this roll and to give us all of the things that Christian Grey is. Unfortunately, in a movie having much less to do with the over-the- top sexual escapades of his character and more to do with his past and feelings, he fell flat.

I wouldn’t say that 50 Shades Darker was a total bust. I enjoyed myself and I can’t lie about it, but is that because the movie was good? Or because it’s so crazy that you just have to keep watching. You tell me!

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